5/16

Before that night, I was able to leave you a voicemail and you'd call me back not even an hour later.
Now, I call your phone just to listen to your voicemail because it's the only way I can hear your voice.
Before that night, I would delete our text conversations to free space on my phone because I knew I'd be seeing you in no time.
Now, I don't think I'll ever delete the last message you sent me; it reads "I love you, miss you, need you, want you...this will remain true until the day I die."
I thought that was the sweetest thing you had ever said to me, but little did I know that it was somewhat foreboding.
Before that night, I fell asleep with no problem, especially on nights that I was entangled in your embrace.
Now, I'm on a no sleep streak of about 5 days; I just can't pretend that you're here holding me when I know you never will be again.
Before that night, any time I passed the cemetery I thought nothing of it because I knew no one that was laid to rest there.
Now, I visit you every day, and ironically, this is the only time and place that I feel rested.
The way I missed you before that night seems so insignificant.
The way I miss you now is crippling; all I can think about is your smile and the glint in your eye. I can still see the beauty marks on your neck that were in the shape of a tiny heart in my mind when I close my eyes.
I'm afraid that in time I'll forget these things, but I can be secure in the fact that I'll never forget you.
And I want you to never forget that I love you, miss you, need you, want you....this will remain true until the day I die.