All these dreams I’ve had
by @namii
I've been seeing you in my dreams
pink sky and a cape
your smile is bigger than the moon
and wider than the ocean
you are breathing in flakes
I dreamed someone didn't let you say sorry
and you punched him over
and over
so that he'd know how it feels
to have an apology stuck in your throat
There was a night I told myself
your smile was just a mirage
and feeling every bump on the road
was just like making sense
of your breathing pattern
Then the time when I heard
the gap in your laughter
and realized it had lost its soul
when you forgot whose to mould it against
oh, the irony.
One dream had you walking barefoot
across a wooden bridge
you’d kicked your shoes into the sea
Suddenly you’re on a huge green field
making flowers die as you walk
I kept seeing you as lampposts,
a soft gentle presence in the dark
but always flickering
threatening to leave in a moment
There were the bruised hips
from the torrent of unspoken words
I decided I didn't want to keep
There was a postcard you sent me
with a return address that didn't exist
so I could write to nothing like I always have
The pillows with the tear stained blotches
hold reminders of every night
I tell myself I can make do
without seeing your eyes
And all these dreams I've had
darling
are from my veins
pulsing with visions of unrest