Am I shaking
from the cold
because I hate myself too much
to find a blanket
or from the cold
that only lives
inside my head?

I have this craving
for getting lost
for getting out
of this prison of a mind
I have this need
to get ****** up
and forget about reality.

But I had this need yesterday
so yesterday
I got ****** up
so the day before
I got ****** up
and the day before that
I got ****** up.

My mason jar is almost empty,                                            
tolerance is such a *****.