You swore to love my oceans but you only toe my shorelines
I handed you that shell hoping you would keep it
My mind wandered away
I thought of the way you hold my hand as I watched the osprey pluck its dinner from the sea
I wonder if the fish panics as the air leaves its lungs
Or blindly and helplessly goes with the flight
I wonder if it falls in love with the talons against its scales
You swore you love the sun but you never watched it rise with me
I threw the shell back into the sand
I don't need memorabilia
I don't want to remember this night
It holds only a memory
Of the trembling of my legs
And silence under the stars
You dragged my heart along
I dragged you to that beach
You were distracted
With what or whom I'm unsure
I wanted to share those stars with you
I longed for conversation
Some ******* interest
But I settled for nods of your head and constantly reassuring myself
Maybe it's not me
I was staring at the beauty of the stars and felt like I was punched in the chest
I wanted to lay and let the ocean drift me out
Not in the sense that I just wanted the days to end
Rather to spend them at peace and free with the tides
All my separate parts could reach the different corners of the earth
Maybe you'd miss me then
Maybe you'd think of my indifference
And see something familiar in the sound of the waves withdrawing into themselves
The ocean will mock the way you play with my heart
It will offer you it's hand and then take it back
Over and over and over
Stop asking me for my oceans
I am tired of hearing you tell me you don't want to swim