Need not blame me for being insecure
I am no doctor, hell I don’t have the cure
You cared, you landed you ears but I looked the other way
I did not having anything to say and I now know that was never okay

Who was I to judge you,, but then again when the world taught me to hate what more can I do?
I am lost in this dark hole where love ceases to exist, this pit I call hell.
How can I love when I do not know the meaning of the word?
I pushed you away because no one can come in
I build this barrier this wall, this guard that I never let down
Dear I pushed you away you never had a single chance, not one in a million


Truth be told I did care... I do have a heart in this dark cold empty chest of mine
Please tell the world then to give me lashes like my mother did
I am speechless, robbed of words and all I have is a fake smile
All I can do is marry this darkness...
I am  suffocating and  I think that  I am going to lose myself any minute now


Dear I pushed you away…. You never stood a chance
But if I may ask are you willing to wait for all eternity?
Truth is I care so much it hurts.. but after loneliness dumped me on a rainy day
After love stabbed me in the back, after I walked through gates of hell
I could take it no more
The universe denied me joy
I now hate the world…..
It’s painful enough that I have to drown in this blissful agony
The true me that illuminates when the fake pretense is stripped off
I carry hate around as though I depended on it to live

I bear great regrets that have got me wishing
Wishing I had life’s reset button
But then again it’s a wish
I guess my own heart bleeds through paper
As my dark soul moves to the rhythm of my pen
I thought I had it all
But I now realize…. Any minute now…. I might just fall
Can I have a friend who will hold my hand?
I guess the utter silence means pen and paper are forever with me
Dear I pushed you away…….. do accept this letter.