when i was 13, "if your friends jumped off a cliff would you?" was an effortless, "no" because when i was 13 the cliff was a tall, intimidating piece of land with a neon sign that said "impending doom" lit up at the edge, but now im 20 and the cliff comes in glass bottles and the cliff comes in thick syringes and the cliff is drawn beneath my skin in india ink and down below it, i can see my home town and i can hear the patient voices of the kids i grew up with that never got out, shakily shouting "come down here; it's easier at the bottom" and if im being honest im stumbling toward it with an alarming lack of fear