am i allowed to consider myself as sad?

i know i am, but i don't feel the feelings all the time. like now, i don't even feel any emotions.

i felt them yesterday, but not now.

my head is still pounding but my feelings have seemed to stop working. i can't cry because i feel nothing.

i am empty.

my breath is steady but i know i'm not. i know my past will haunt me when i lay awake at night. i'm not afraid of the feeling, but of how they run my life. how they affect my view on life

i'm afraid that one day, they'll eat me alive and i won't be me anymore.

even though i don't know who i am anymore.