i light a candle
i pick at my nails
i fish the eyelash out of my eye
without hesitation
a car bouncing music blares by
i pick at my teeth
i look around
i look at the snake
at the fish
at the upturned bottle of tea
at the plate of crumbs out of the corner of my eye
at the keys
at the door
i cross my legs
the joints lock up
i uncross my legs
i ignore my cat who has jumped on me and obscures my vision
i lay back
i gather my thoughts though they are like smoke
i breathe for a while
i lose my train of thought and i do not mourn its passing
this is my calling
this life is mine
i will keep it