to: the backbone
please stand up straight
love, the vertebrate

to: the hair
please stop being tangled
love, your comb

to: the hands
please stop popping your knuckles
love, your future arthritis

to: the feet
please be less clumsy
love, the scraped knees

to: the nose
please stop being stuffed up
love, the mouth

to: the eyelashes
please stop falling into us
love, the eyeballs

thank you for your consideration to these pressing problems.