I don't want to continue simply sleepwalking through life. When you left last year, it threw me for a loop. I was completely blindsided. Never in a million years did I think my life would change so dramatically, so quickly, so out of my control. One day I was simply sitting there getting high off of you, and next thing I knew, I was numb from the shock of you leaving. Just like that. It was unexpected, unprovoked, I had no way if knowing.. no warning. I miss you everyday. All the places we used to go feels like I'm walking through a nightmare. You were my backbone, my cornerstone. You were the one thing that kept me going. When I lost you, I lost myself. I lost my direction, my motivation, my drive to be better. I forgot what this life was all about. I tried to play it cool, pretend that I was alright. But even the sound of your name brought me to tears. It's been 10 months and 9 days. I still miss you. I don't remember when I cried last. They tell me it'll stop all together soon. I can't help but wonder if you miss me, us. If you sit in bed and cry at night because you can't see me, hold me, remind me that you love me.. I wonder if I even cross your mind at all. I wonder if you'll ever fade from my memory, and if I'm already gone from yours. If you realized what you meant to me or if I should have been more bold in telling you. You are my late night thoughts. My early morning thoughts. My mid-day thoughts. You are constantly on my mind. Until that changes, I don't see how I could simply stop sleepwalking through life.