I've cut myself four times the past two days
For the first time ever
And I never understood why or how cutters became cutters
I thought it would never be me
But now I understand
When you're in such pain
When you're experiencing depression
You reach such a low point
And the first time you try it
It hurts, it stings
But then you see the blood
And it's like a wave of clarity comes over you
You see the blood and it makes you smile
The first smile you've had on your face in a while
There is something about seeing the blood
And seeing the scar
That makes your pain real
That makes you feel validated
And you cry as you swipe the blade across
But then the cut is made
And suddenly, your eyes dry up
You're able to breathe again
It's addicting