6 Reasons Why You Should Never Love Me
by indurated
1. You’ll be my 2 am thoughts, my 4 am texts. I’ll never stop thinking about you and your lovely eyes. I’ll attach myself to you so that you and everyone else around us knows you’re mine. I’ll cling onto you and never let you go, but I’ll do what makes you happy.
2. I’ll make a home out of you. I’ll run to you when I need to get away from everything, when I need to cry, lay down with someone. Your arms will become my bed and I won’t want to leave you for days.
3. My body isn’t beautiful. I am not gentle and graceful; I am sloppy and empty. My eyes have spilled the four oceans and are completely dry and dead. My bones stick out in unusual places that I have learned to hate from how much they make me ache. My tummy is round and large in my eyes, it takes up too much space and I grab it, I wish it would just disappear. I have tally marks cut into me from my worst days as reminders that I’m not mentally stable, that I struggle. My body can curl up into a ball so small that it makes me question if people can see right through me, if I even exist anymore.
4. I’m hard to love. I want what makes you happy, I don’t care about my happiness, because you will end up controlling it, and it scares me so bad. Your words will affect me more than I will show.
5. When you leave me, it will hurt me for days, for months. I’ll need to be constantly surrounded by people, or I’ll lock myself in the bathroom with my razor and pills. My body will break down, my world will crumble. My tears will be never ending and I’ll cry for you at night that I’ll have no voice in the morning. I won’t exist without you; I’ll completely lose my identity.
6. Lastly, I’ll write shitty poems like this about you.