Isn't this what you wanted?  
for me to write about you?
But I had no sad stories to tell.
You never made me want to bleed.
there was not one suppressed feeling,
Or depressed thoughts needing to be freed.
well,  I don't know how to deal with what I'm dealing with.
Shoulda never planted that seed in your head,
That you might be happier with her instead.
The most selfless thing iv'e ever done.
But, I've never felt more helpless, Hon.
I've never   f e l t   like this.
But, these are the cards I've been dealt with.
No, they're just the cards I played.
God, what was I thinking, If I had begged you, you might have stayed.
But, Once you've laid your cards down, you can't change your mind.
Like once you messaged her, there was no way to rewind.
I'd do it all different, If I could do it all again.
I want to tell you why you're significant, But don't know where to begin.
Maybe, that I'm writing this a little before
4 A.M.  
And I won't be getting sleep.
I'm not trying to condemn you, that's not your fault.
I could be counting sheep.
But I know laying in that bed will only make me weep.
I'm too regretful to be tired.
Wish I was forgetful.
But in my Heart, Body and Mind..You're still desired.
I'm sorry you thought I was pushing you.
But your words were crushing me.
I hope you two aren't rushing into things.
I still want you to be with me.
And it's much harder letting go, when I can still hear you saying "no".
But our love is a stretched rubber band.
I'm holding one end, and the other's in your hand.
If one lets go before the other, one of us will get hurt.
I can get hurt, that doesn't bother me.
But, we can both let go at the same time, and no one gets hurt, you see?
I'm sorry if you felt pushed.
I thought it would feel better than  trapped.

the point is, I'm just afraid..that our rubber band has snapped.

© copyrighted *Nicole Ann Osborn