allow me to apologize
on behalf of the love
i bear for you

the love I’ve left
behind the moon
behind the earth
within a shadow
in an umbra
and hidden from the sun

i want these whispers
to escape
from the person
i have buried
in a folded blanket
in the dust
in a fissure
of a scar
within my heart

i’ve been defeated
by my own fears
and self-resentment festers
in my consequential wounds

a gangrenous pathogen
threatening to mortify
what,
i don’t know
for i’ve kept my eyes closed
and my soul at a distance

but every morning
as i try to go to sleep
in spite of the sun
rising above

i think of me
as if i was not myself
and I think of you
and the things i should’ve done

i think of how
you looked right through
my painted face
and when i met your eyes
how my blind-fold fell away
less than a memory

i think of these moments
and remember
that i once knew the meaning
of peace