Almost feels as if I have nobody.
As a bird not wanting eggs,
or a fish not wanting the worm.
So many accusations
of what I've said or done.
I never did.
So much to scare me away.
I let them go,
then I look around and I am severely punished.
At the sight of the stars finding one another using their glittering light
in the great big sky.
Watching the snowflakes fall onto their perfect banks.
This has been the story of my whole life.
The girl you always see alone.
Is it so much to sacrifice?
There is no right or wrong
to the answer of finding connection.
So to feel I have no connections,
no people, no friendships.
I hate myself
and I just want to throw a rock and shatter
the glass of my bedroom window
where I lay
alone.
The shattered glass on the wood floor
is what my heart looks like
when I'm watching people as
bears in the pack,
smiling like children with lollipops,
and bees in the hive they fit in.
Watching,
but wanting to get there.