Today my eyes are sunken;
They feel like they sit deeply in my skull.
My muscles protest much movement,
And my bones aren't much better than jello.
My scalp radiates pain across the back
Of my head, where a loose ponytail acts
As my one semblance of being "put together."
My breathing is shallow and my lungs tight.
My fingers and toes bloated and sausage-like.
To answer a question takes 35.3 seconds longer
Because my brain and my tongue aren't in sync.
I can't think.
I can't focus.
I can't do anything today.
Yet here I am
Faking my way through work,
Pretending my smile is genuine,
Imagining my interest is sincere,
Acting like I've got enough of it together
To be a part of normal society
Instead of locked up in the ****** bin
Where I'd be more at home
With all the other crazies
Raving about this or that or nothing at all,
Because don't you know I'm one thin thread
Away from completely losing my mind...
But I still want to be part of your world:

Up where you walk on your legs
With your head high in the sky,
No vestige of doubt that you belong
In a happy carefree life.

Up where you sing tunes in major chords
With voices loud and proud,
No hesitation of depression stilting
The vibrato of your bravado.

Up where everyone is put together.
Up where everyone is whole.
Up where everyone smiles and means it.

I want to mean it too
One day...