I'm standing in the rain
I'm standing barefoot in just a shower towel
My feet are in 5 inches of freezing cold water and I'm thinking of you
Thinking of how the water meets your box in the ground while it falls from the sky
So cold, so cold

And now I'm standing in the rain
Hitting me, hurting me, but it's okay
Maybe it'll wash me clean and scrub the dirt away
Because I'm filthy
I'm a *****, broken mess
And I'm drowning in this moment but I like it this way

I haven't been able to put it into words
Since you left, while I was holding your hand
The last skin you ever felt
I can't look down at my hands
I can't look down at my hands
I can't stop shaking.
And I'm not sure if it's the cold or the memory

And now I'm just waiting to be washed away
Hoping tidal waves will form and carry me to where we buried you
And there I'd like to stay     if you'll have me


There are worms at my feet and I can't bear the truth of it
I'm hoping, praying to no one to be washed away
And I can't look down at my hands