Your shoulders look so heavy as you carry them back upstairs and even your feet are tired as you trudge one. step. at a time. You say to call you only if three or four minutes pass and there is no respite. I understand, you know. Everyone needs to rest sometime and now is your turn. I will always admire the stoic way you face rigid limbs and bleeding mouths, the way you can remain calm as bedsprings and bodies shake as one the acceptance of life as you have come to know it. Yes, I admire, eternally unable to emulate. You know what to do. I, on the other clenched hand, am constantly terrified. Please don't leave me on guard- I will never be ready to face the monster eating my little sister from within.