I can't help it. I can't stop thinking about you. I can't stop wanting you. Nothing anyone can do or say can fill this hole you've left. It's like I'm walking around with only one leg, one arm, one eye, one lung, one half of my heart. I don't know how to fix it, to fill it. I want to be able to make it through the day without being reminded of what I should have said, could have done, might have had... You were all I wanted, all I want. Nothing really has changed except now you're there, I'm here. You still don't notice me, see me. You're still content with not letting anyone in. You still don't see that I see through the ******* you hand out, I see what's really going on. But, you don't know that, you can't realize that. For some reason.. I still want you. I still want you even though you ignore me. I still want you even though you talk to other women. I still want you even if you don't want me. And I hate myself for it. Why can't I just let it go, let you go? I'm tired of thinking about you, your sister, your family. I'm tired of having your face pop up in my head thinking I'll see you when I turn the corner. I'm tired of not ever being able to escape you. I'm just tired of it all. I want to know if it ever ends, if I ever stop feeling like I'm drowning. Like I'm buried deep in regrets. I wonder if I ever get a chance to live again...