I want to ***** out my insides so you can hear my swollen heart,
then stomp on it in front of you to make the beating stop.
You'll laugh, at worst. At best, you'll cry,
but you'll likely just feel pity.

"I ought to be more careful.
Sometimes I wish I wasn't so pretty!"

I wish I could burn your bridge without leaving myself stranded.
Trapped in the pasture with the rest of your sheep -
I've been sheared,
bitten,
and branded.

If I don't get out, I fear I'll suffer a brain aneurism.
How the **** did I get caught up in someone else's solipsism?

Next time you see me, I'll force myself into cardiac arrest.
To feel those lips against my own -
to taste your breath -
I swear,
I'd fake so many deaths.

If dying is the only way to kiss you,
then I'd rather be dead.
It'd be so much easier for me to never have to see you again.

No more singing,
and no more smiles.
No more haywired thoughts;
brain chemistry gone wild.
No more guilt,
and no more shame.
No more lost sleep.
No more mind games.