Most days
Im trying so hard to stay afloat
That for a moment
I was so tired
I finally chose
To drown
And it felt more like
Flying.

Now it feels more like
Falling.
Again
And again
And again
In these endless dead end cycles
Because my heart refuses
To abide by my head.

Most days
I'm so numb
That for a moment
I finally chose to feel
Letting bliss flood my lungs
Along with the pain.

I took a deep breath of it
And I went
Under.