I avoid food and love and lust
Because I ache for it
Because it makes me feel normal

A momentary high is not
Worth the inevitable plummet
And as you reach your hands around my neck I am not sure if you are going to

Caress me, envelop me in kisses
Or choke away this pulsing pain
I am not sure which I long for more

Inside me there is darkness
A contorted version of the little girl
I used to be once upon a time

I am still that ugly little girl
Who prayed for birds and bugs
Then turned around and beat herself up with bike chains and pavement and rock

But maybe i am something more now
Fear courses through my veins
I am deciding who I will be