driving down the highway
the dotted lines turn into blurred streaks
clusters of trees whip past you
so fast you question whether they were ever really there
street lights like
fireflies
stretched like spaghetti

and all you can think of is
opening the passenger seat door and launching yourself onto the bed of concrete
all you can imagine is your skull shattering on the road
like a crystal ball or wine glass
spilling every crimson worry out on the ground
every thought of anxiety and stress
spurting out like
a barrel of molasses after a few bullets
the gruesome yet cloying image can’t help but seem to feel like it would relieve
the pressure
the torrid weight thats supposed to make diamonds
but only fills your head with obsidian

and as you lie down like that contortionist you saw on TV
you sacrifice your vessel
however pallid yet finally at peace
to the hungry preying metal beasts that pursue your carcass
foam dripping from their jaws

or you imagine getting into a car crash
a brusque demise
so you leave your seatbelt off
so when it finally happens
you soar
you feel free
feel weightless but not empty
none of this ******* weighs you down
and you feel unrestrained for
one
last
second
before your walls close in like a crushed tin can
you hope the airbags dont work
because you feel
that if your face hits the windshield hard enough
It would knock the demons out of your head

but as much as these thoughts run amuck within the confines of your cerebrum
you can never will it to happen
and you go home
and the car crashes
and the overdoses
and the bridge jumps
and the bloodshed
only happen inside your brain

and you spend your waking moments
wondering what’s worse