I told myself
That today
I would write something happy
Compose something
As bright as they tell me my future is
But lately all I have been seeing
Is fog
Lately all I have known
Is lightning storm meets hurricane
I do not know
How to compile something that is not truth
And truth is not pigmented sunshine
Is not seventy degrees and blue sky
It is the pounding of thunder in my head
The rolling of harsh waves in my stomach
Memories do not sit sweetly on my tongue
Every thought of mine has turned natural disaster
I never promised to be pretty with my words
Have only hoped
They would eventually evolve into something less ugly
Something I could look to and be proud of
But in order to get to calm
In order to know steady
One must make it through the shaking
So I will write strong
After the tsunami
Will write beauty
After the break down
Will write buoyant
After the saltwater crash
I will write happy
When I finally know
What it tastes like.