I want to be pure
Like the clear mirror
so clear I can see my young bones
through the weird looking tan --
I even can see my future
The youth no wise man tells
The lame middle
refuses to be named unstable
And before the time calls I would have
wrinkles, tons of wrinkles
placed on the traces of nightmares
that would never stop --

I want to be pure
Like the clear mirror
Mirror so clear I can see my future --
I can see fat blocking veins
Heart older than its age
Lungs black as Odile
Nonfunctioning kidneys and intestines;
Pores so big you can sleep in it
Nose so flat you can surf with it
Body full of moons without suns
Moon as tummy, moon as face
No longer a phase
Blind left eye, deaf left ear
Half bald head and greasy hair --
In the garden; dear hibiscus corpses
and dead green flies --
Children avoiding, screaming when
I am coming

O, the mad woman
with bad breath and obesity
The grumpy lady
loved by so many STDs

Hey
I want to be pure, purer than ever
but when I was born
when I left the ****** womb
I had passed my purest --
Can't go back, can't go back ----


Now tell me, now tell me
When I am crying, am I beautiful too?