I told her I was late
Because I had a meeting.
She went to tell my mother
I was in for a beating.

Mother’s furious when I come home.
She tells me what was said
And informs me that I’m grounded
And that I’m not to leave my bed.

But that’s not what I said!
—Are you calling her a liar!?
No, she must have just misunderstood!
The situation’s not so dire!

But nonetheless I find myself
Locked up in my room,
On the phone telling him
That I wish to be released soon.

He said what she said wasn’t fair,
That I shouldn’t be in trouble.
Unfortunately, he said, he knows
That what she said counts for double.

The next day we said what went on
And they heard loud and clear,
But what they said to her and him
To the truth was no where near.

So he said she said you said what?
And they said we said I said that!?
Oh no you did not just say
That he dared to call me fat!

But he said he wants my number,
But you said he said something more.
Then she said they said my mom’s back
To make me do my chores.

Why would my mother come here
To tell me what to do?
Because he said we said they said that
I’m going out with you.

Link the two events together.
You’ll find there is no way.
The he-said-she-said gossip mess
Is how we spend our days.

Yet no explanation do we find
For the crazy things they said,
Nor do we know why we say
Whatever pops into our heads.

So when rumors are flying, left and right,
And pronouns start replacing names,
Beware what he said she said you all said;
You’ll get caught in gossip games.