I am about to be honest for a real quick second
And if you don't like my message
You can quietly exit
I have not lived a easy life
I have seen every roadblock every setback
That made me believe I deserved all of that
I cursed myself
I cursed God
Whoever was in my sights I hated
I blamed everyone for my own sadness
And instead of picking my head up
I faded into blackness
All I wanted was a life I thought I deserved
A life I thought I earned
But in reality
What have I done?
Who have I helped or encouraged?
I took my life for granted and never thanked a single person
I was selfish
Putting my pity on everyone
Instead of trying to figure out how I could help someone
And I call myself a Christian
I call myself a leader
I used those words to fill holes in my head to make myself believe that I was doing something right
And for what?
A pat on the back
And a thumbs up
Some fake respect and meaningless praise
That only led me further from the truth
I sit here now
And think of everything that brought me here
Whether it was worth it or not
Well I don't know yet
All I can say is that without a doubt in my mind
I can look you dead in the eye
And say that I want to change the world
I want to be a leader
A dream chaser
A goal seeker
A believer
I want people to think of me and know that I made a difference
Whether or not they knew me at all
I want to help people
In the way that I couldn't help myself
And when I die
I want people to know that I did everything I could
To make myself better
All I've ever wanted was to look in the mirror and see someone who never gave up
God put me here
In this town
In this house
In certain people's lives
And if you read this I promise to make a difference
I promise to change lives