I've started drinking just to lose coherence.

I've started holding back because without you there's no ******.

I've started smoking just to make sure I'm actually breathing once it becomes increasingly difficult.

I've started popping pills just to numb the feel of my barely there pulse.

I've started gulping down red bull just so when my heart hurts I'm able to find it.

I've started building walls just to replace the bridges once built.

I've continued to scar myself just to make sure I still feel.

I deemed it all fit since your absence, the only things that're real.