I know alcohol is the downfall. I know he doesn't love me. And I'm unhealthy and relationships are toxic but oh god, I'm lonely, and I'm tired of having no one to hold.
Yes, my father is a bad man but when I look in the mirror all i see is his face
And I have spent too too long hating him.
My heart has been broken by people who never even asked for my middle name, and every day I face the world alone my lungs blacken. It is hard for me to smile.
Every kiss I have ever been given has been tainted. I have never been kissed with love.
I do not want to let you down, but it is in my nature. And I can't get it out.
My lipstick is too bright? But I want the men to think about the things my lips could do if only we were alone. I'm sorry.
I never intended for you to waste so many nights holding me whilst i was bleeding.
I starve myself because I want to be beautiful.
When you come home from 12 hour shifts and your eyes are tired and your legs waver, I go to my room and cry because I want to make life better.
But i am ill.