I'm over her I swear. Her pretty eyes, the smile that lit up my world, the lips that drove me wild and the voice that melted my heart of ice, yeah I'm over all of it. Why wouldn't I be? It's over right? The past is the past and the future is what really matters. The future without her, that's the way it's meant to be, isn't it? That's why she found someone else and moved on from me, just like everyone else does eventually. She is over me so why is it that every time I  think I'm in the clear she manages to appear back in my life like she never left. I want to hate her for it. I want to be able to look my best friend in the eyes and honestly say it doesn't go to my head when she tells me how she misses talking to me. I want to be able to go one **** day without wondering what could have been if I had been the type of guy she wanted. One simple day without missing her kisses, hugs, pouty lip or scent. Is that really too much to ask for? I've done my time all I want is to be released from this living hell I've been in for almost three years. Even inmates get some time to themselves at least once a day. She was there through the best times of my life and the one day that I would give anything if I could go back and stop. I miss the fights, at least while we were fighting she was mine. I could still tell her that I loved her and kiss her until everything else faded away and the world just felt right. Now all I can do is stare into the cupboards and think how easy it would be to put the bottle to my head and pull the trigger. End the pain, the thoughts, and the memories in one quick move. It takes all the energy I have left just to stop myself and I really don't know how much longer my will power can hold out. You want to know if I'm truly over her? I can look you in the eyes and tell you there's not a chance in hell of me being over her.