It was a five finger discount
Just a benign theft
It wasn't hurting anyone
Besides, it was going to look good in my breakfast nook

I put on my "cross your heart" seat belt and jetted home
It was a beautiful coffee mug crafted by Incas
It wasn't like I looted the store

I now refer to it as my stolen-Incan made-oversized coffee mug

But I guess I should have seen the warning label

"ATTENTION THIEF, THIS MUG IS CURSED BY ANCIENT SPIRITS! AND IF YOU DARE KEEP THIS MUG ALL THINGS DRANK OUT OF IT WILL CAUSE YOU HORRIBLE PAIN AND SUFFERING"

Now every time I have my morning coffee it either tips over on to my lap or gives me a sudden case of the runs