Jun 2014
The hollow space where you stepped from my atmosphere felt so empty;
void of all feeling and substance. It seems you even took the air with you.
---
As you left I felt my contentment tearing away.
i held my hands awkwardly half shut, half open;
it was all I could do to stop myself physically clawing for it
---
a coldness swooped in and claimed your previously occupied space as its own, hanging itself around me... A strange essence, with the ability to call out my confidence and destroy its underlying ego. It taunted me with the relative ill-ease consuming my thoughts. As I watched each drawn out pace spreading you further away, your physicality dissolving in to the clatter and garbled amusements of the facetious element hoarded into the smoke hazed ornate ballroom.
---
It was clear you had no intentions of pandering to my insecurities, or remotely interested in any other of my womanly charms
A beast of bested burden; how easily he laid upon my heart like a warm blanket
His cruelties stung me with passion, his empty words grew me to love him in spite of him. How easily he tangled my well formed opinions and pulled my perceptions from under me! I felt I was dancing on an ever shifting carpet afraid for dear life about to topple over the edge and ever rescued from the finite moment...
---
Appalled by my countenances, compelled by my indignation, repelled by my eagerness, yet, still there ghostly and taunting.
But I had seen it.
A gold moment of freedom, of warmth in his eyes and I pained to see it again. It was this dust particle lit by the sun emanating a warmth to fill the rooms empty space with such a gorgeous sweet freedom, of dancing upon lightness and air!
Eye to eye, soul to soul. In that fraction of a moment it had happened and he was driven to erase it with all and any counter actions. Knowingly I begin to feel a slight crescent nudging the corner of my mouth as I realise suddenly picking up my ego and dusting the cold off my shaken confidence... Impossible. I left, knowing the manipulations that would follow with the kind of surety of knowing one with a complete intimacy aged of many years an yet it had only Been 3 days, 3 complete life times. One fraction of eternity. I walked never looking back knowing it was I leaving the void behind me.
---
I did not care for wanton games this evening. I am not a plaything contented to puzzle over strings dangling of bobs, bits and things. As the cab rolled up and I was safely tucked inside, I thought of the ensuing orchestration of our physicality. I felt with such fervour we would meet again soon. That was three lifetimes ago. And I still won't let myself falter.
---
I write to pass this endless time.
void of all feeling and substance. It seems you even took the air with you.
---
As you left I felt my contentment tearing away.
i held my hands awkwardly half shut, half open;
it was all I could do to stop myself physically clawing for it
---
a coldness swooped in and claimed your previously occupied space as its own, hanging itself around me... A strange essence, with the ability to call out my confidence and destroy its underlying ego. It taunted me with the relative ill-ease consuming my thoughts. As I watched each drawn out pace spreading you further away, your physicality dissolving in to the clatter and garbled amusements of the facetious element hoarded into the smoke hazed ornate ballroom.
---
It was clear you had no intentions of pandering to my insecurities, or remotely interested in any other of my womanly charms
A beast of bested burden; how easily he laid upon my heart like a warm blanket
His cruelties stung me with passion, his empty words grew me to love him in spite of him. How easily he tangled my well formed opinions and pulled my perceptions from under me! I felt I was dancing on an ever shifting carpet afraid for dear life about to topple over the edge and ever rescued from the finite moment...
---
Appalled by my countenances, compelled by my indignation, repelled by my eagerness, yet, still there ghostly and taunting.
But I had seen it.
A gold moment of freedom, of warmth in his eyes and I pained to see it again. It was this dust particle lit by the sun emanating a warmth to fill the rooms empty space with such a gorgeous sweet freedom, of dancing upon lightness and air!
Eye to eye, soul to soul. In that fraction of a moment it had happened and he was driven to erase it with all and any counter actions. Knowingly I begin to feel a slight crescent nudging the corner of my mouth as I realise suddenly picking up my ego and dusting the cold off my shaken confidence... Impossible. I left, knowing the manipulations that would follow with the kind of surety of knowing one with a complete intimacy aged of many years an yet it had only Been 3 days, 3 complete life times. One fraction of eternity. I walked never looking back knowing it was I leaving the void behind me.
---
I did not care for wanton games this evening. I am not a plaything contented to puzzle over strings dangling of bobs, bits and things. As the cab rolled up and I was safely tucked inside, I thought of the ensuing orchestration of our physicality. I felt with such fervour we would meet again soon. That was three lifetimes ago. And I still won't let myself falter.
---
I write to pass this endless time.
A few pages from a book long ago
