This is where I get pathetic.  I'm head over heels for you. I can't stop thinking about you. I haven't stopped since the first debate where I was laughing so hard and you were mad but I just wanted to impress you. I always have. Ever since then, everything I do I can't stop thinking about what'd you do or say or react. And I know, I know the truth and the reality and you're moving on with your life out of this ****** town and you're going to be someone amazing you really are. And it's sad because I wish I could have spent so much more time with you. And even though our friendship was short lived, you really have impacted my life for the better. I'm done telling myself I'm not good enough- that I'm not pretty enough, or smart enough because the truth is I'm not perfect, nor will I ever be or try to be. I say stupid stuff and I make mistakes and I hurt people I love but here's the thing. There is so much grace in my heart that I could love everything in this world, even if I don't act like I do. I love the little things and I found that it's so much more important to enjoy the little things.  And I know you're moving away but you'll always impact my life. I'll never go back to things I did before, and I'll always work harder towards my dreams. But with everything I learned this year I also build up a self confidence that told me that I'm great and I deserve someone even better. Maybe at the end of the day I don't... But I'm so done hurting myself over people who don't even notice what I'm going through. I'm so strong. I don't understand why I get so upset or so attached but I do and it's terrible and I need to keep going. I'm pathetic but I can't lose you as a friend I really can't. When you say you're so busy or so tired it's so hard to believe because it looks like it's so easy to you to be happy or laughing with someone else. I wish I was your favorite girl. I wish my smile was your favorite smile, but unfortunately it's not. But that doesn't mean I'm not incredible because maybe one day this will all make sense to me. I know you probably never wanted to hurt me as much as I ended up being hurt, but I'm never going to be mad at you. I wasn't even mad at the talking **** thing I just wanted to put my foot down and show you I don't deal with that, but obviously it backfired. Thank you for helping me write my debate speeches, thank you for helping me with math, thank you. I couldn't help but falling in love with every single aspect of your nature. I couldn't help myself.