tonight i am reeking of nostalgia.
my mind flutters of our memories
such as the time
your bike had no pegs
so i sat on the handlebars
and once you pushed the pedals
i fell back and
credit carded my ***.
and the time
i gave you a xanax
and we ******
then you fell asleep inside of me.
the night i fell asleep
on your friend's couch
in your arms watching
enter the void on netflix
and the next day you
woke me up early
and i met your mother.
the time i came down
and i had a fever
and cried in your arms
while you sang me songs by
tool and a perfect circle
and played songs by elliot smith
to calm me down.
or the night i first met you
we cuddled in my bed and talked and
kissed for the first time and the tension
was searing in our bodies cos they wanted
to collide.
and how could i ever forget the night
you told me you couldn't do this
apologized and
left me in the morning
i tried my hardest not to
let you see me cry
but i couldn't hold the tears.
i told you that i would be ok
and i would just get over it
because 'life goes on'
and my life went on, yes
but it's been 9 weeks
and you're still the boy i hold
closest in my heart.
my head aches at the concept i can't grasp
you don't love me and you won't come back.