I know it's not fair
I know it's not right
These feelings I have
Bring nothing but despair.

You are my light
When fog claws at my mind.
Though what am I to do,
When the light is not there?

I see the light
In my minds eye
Images run ramped
Feeling cut lose.

My heart has hardened
If only for a moment
Thoughts cut deep
As if knives in the dark.

I am not scared
Of things like the dark.
I am scared
Of what comes with the dark.

Even when I'm in your arms tight
The monsters want to stay and play.
My mind is not welcome here
For all it brings is fear and tears.

My mind is the monsters in the dark
It is what makes these unjust feelings
It wraps me in chains
Whenever you are not here.

I know it's to much
But I am my minds new play thing
So please stay here
For I fear of times unknown.

Others have names for it
From good to bad.
But I hope you know I try
To suppress these feelings of the night.

Though you say you will stay
And I believe you will
My mind refuses to play along with this game,
It has decided on new rules on how to play.

It keeps me up at night
To tie spined ribbons in bows
Around my heart.
It makes it hard when you do not stay.

I once again know
That you would not play these games.
Though my mind still presses replay
With your name to an old face.

Old fears do not know their place
They try to worm their way in.
After having been resurrected
By my minds cruel ways.

I'm sorry for all of this madness.
But my mind is taking me farther into wonderland
To where wander drops back to fear
And my heart is caught prisoner.

You unlock the cage that my mind has put around my heart.
But once moments return to memories
And warmth has died always
My mind cones back out to play.

You are my new drug
And I love every second of it.
I don't crash every moment we're apart
Only when no words have been spoken.

My voice grows stronger with the thought of you,
And my heart is once again light as a feather
My eyes open to see lights in the stars
Just as if you were here.

My mind still pushes me toward others,
But my heart is firmly rooted in you.
My mind also pushes the idea of you with other,
But my heart knows you are true.

I know these things that I feel are not feelings,
But the pain does not realize this,
It's all the same to it
For the pain is a creation of my mind and heart.