I Today my heart is beating a sorrowful tune and I don’t really know if it will end soon. Since your departure all seems to be amiss a pale reflection of that once heavenly bliss. I have been left stranded on an alien shore to fend for myself groping near your door. The aftertaste of delight which our union once exuded lingers on now in memory and feels like I was deluded. Something doesn’t seem to be quite the same even though I remember and repeat your name. Your presence was what made the difference then such a tangible feeling: will you not come again? I can only endeavour to lure you back once more so please don’t any of my genuine efforts ignore.
II I look for you everywhere that I happen to go but where you’re to be found I’d like to know. Some say you’re in the heart and to look within while others assert that you’re in the next of kin. Life is really a situation of relationships with you and knowledge of the ways of love gets us through. If we come across difficulties and obstacles by love they’re resolved which engenders compassion and understanding as it gets involved. There are many people in the world who look in all the wrong places searching for the same thing here in the available surrounding spaces. Hoping that what they’ll find is what their heart most desires and to fulfil this craving their mind with their heart conspires. Our inner being or soul though is the silent witness observing it all and expresses itself as our higher conscience when we heed its call.
III To suffer in the agony of a lover’s separation we learn that being away from the Beloved makes the heart burn. It is even worse when the Beloved has gone away not saying why and the lover has been left alone in the throes of love high and dry. The heart cannot bear the pain of love in separation and the mind seeks to achieve a suitable reconciliation. When the power of love rules the heart mind hastens to obey and doesn’t need any other reason to cause unwanted delay. If all the lover’s efforts to a reunion only end in despair then it may be better to let the matter rest awhile there. True love cannot be really denied except at a great personal cost and in desperation we seldom realise the value of what’s been lost. There is a saying that: ‘love will always find a way’ and that a heart full of love over the mind holds sway.
IV As I was never given a reason why you suddenly left I can only assume that there isn’t one and love is bereft. The heart has its own reasons which the mind can’t fathom so the mind depends on the heart for matters in its *****. Where the Beloved goes there the lovers also have to follow because love is the magnet that draws them all nigh to go. When the fragrance of love is in the air and lovers imbibe its scent the intoxicating effect is a strong potion which on the heart is bent. Man’s feeble mind relies more on the heart when the matter of love is concerned but if the mind dominates and rationalises through the intellect love is adjourned. If the mind of the lover is centred in the heart where the play of love is unfolding it will experience anguish and misery when the Beloved anything is withholding. All true lovers will always seek the company and well-being of their beloved and are never satisfied with remaining at a distance if love is being uncovered.
V Whose fault is it may I enquire if anyone falls irresistably in love and the processes of love in separation overwhelm as from above? What can one really do but follow wherever their heart leads and undergo the agony in seeing that love is not displeased. In seeking the pleasure of the Beloved one’s life becomes fulfilled which otherwise would remain barren like a desolate land untilled. When the Beloved sows the seeds of love in the fertile soil of one’s heart all that was in there when that time comes must be sublimated or depart. The arrows of love seek to pierce their target which is the heart of the lover and the Beloved is the one drawing the bow with intent to **** we discover. To die for love is much better than to live without we’ve heard often before and those who lose their life in the cause of the Beloved will live forevermore. When the heart is purified and pure love is awakened by the Beloved’s grace any who are the recipients thereof realise that love in separation has its place.
Private Collection - Five sonnets written 1996 and modified slightly in 2010