~When I was 4
my parents left me in a car
in an unfamiliar neighborhood
while they attended a party
because I had fallen asleep
When I awoke
I cried
and went to a strangers house
asking for my mom
they called the cops
it was my fault.
~When I was 7
I got home after school
nobody was home
I waited a little bit
then called my friend's mom
scared, and had them pick me up
When my parents got home
a little bit later
they had been shopping
everything was fine
it was my fault.
~When I was 9
I began to have night terrors
I couldn't sleep
I cried and cried
my dad tried to understand
but there was only so much he could take
he made me sleep alone
upstairs
but I didn't sleep
I was afraid
and it was my fault.
~When I was 11
I found some friends
they were really cool
and I wasn't cool enough for them
they bossed me around
and I bought them ice cream
When my best friend
told me that Janelle was her best friend
not me
I cried, I didn't understand
and it was my fault.
~When I was thirteen
I thought I was in love
though I didn't know loves meaning
I was fooled and tricked
led on and hurt
I was pathetic
and it was my fault.
~When I was 15
I got over my first love
found a boy that was very cute
he said he loved me
and we made love
my first time
and many more followed
but it was all a lie
and mind games began
I believed him
it was my fault.
~When I was 17
I met a boy
whose heart was a diamond
who touched every person he met
he was loved by all
a caring, understanding, trustworthy person
something I had never come across
I took that amazing beautiful thing
the one person that told me
it's not your fault
and ruined it for myself
and it was my fault.