Had my hands not been sweating from peer pressure,
I might have saved you from suicide,
you might still be beside me today,
sometimes I feel your words in my mind when I do something wrong,
I smell your cigarette stained clothes that your mom didn't have enough quarters to wash,
I still see the burn marks that are on your arms from the hot cigarette pressed to your skin,
I wish I could have saved you from the man you were supposed call Dad,
but I couldn't,
I remember the way you cried when he beat you in the other room while I just sat on your bed crying with you, you would come back and we would cry together,
I should have done something, but fear covered my mouth like a muzzle,
I wish I could have brought myself to look death in the face with you,
but I couldn't,
I couldn't save you, I couldn't protect,
but I could watch you deteriorate inside,
I'm sorry