I remember it well As if it were yesterday We geared up and set sail And embarked upon unfamiliar waves
It was I captaining the vessel With One-eyed Sven my quarter master He could cut throats and roll pretzels His weapon of choice was his bow caster
This wasn't a mission of plundering That alone left the crew in a state of wondering No, we weren't looking for buried treasure But for sheep skin seat covers and Scandinavian leather
My first mate Mr. Obanion said to me "Captain are we off course?" Then my boatswain , Wiley asked sheepishly "Aren't we going for *** and ******?"
I looked them in the eye at the same time "Gentlemen, this ship is headed to Dublin" "We're going to see a good friend of mine" "Now get back to your swabbing and scrubbing"
This was an order of business not some sort of cruise I'm sailing with a ship of one track minded fools We didn't set out on a vacation of leisure Were on the hunt for sheep skin seat covers and Scandinavian leather
I did not mean to keep them in the dark But they would think less of me I needed these things For the women I married
You see we'd been on the rocks And I know she wanted these items So I went over the sea with a fine tooth comb Until I had finally found them
My men had sailed endlessly for months They were worn down and ragged Waterlogged and exhausted While I always came up empty handed
But I had to save my marriage Salvage my relationship I knew it would work If I gave my love these gifts
We reached the golden, calling shore Of the beautiful Dublin From the River Liffey and headed north My friend Seamus let me come in
I came out shaking his hand I was satisfied with my purchase Until I was questioned by my men What it was we came for in our searches
I had to show them, I was under scrutiny I pulled out two stagecoach seat covers and a pair of pants They were enraged and called mutiny They blindfolded me and bound my hands
Now I'm marooned on some unmapped island And I see my ship riding that horizon This will sadden my wife, oh how it will upset her She will never receive her sheep skin seat covers or her Scandinavian leather