i cannot put into words, the suffering i go through trying to get over you.

my heart drops,
literally drops down to my toes,
when you talk to her.

and i'll try with all my might to smile,
but the happy grin gets bullied by my emotions,
and turns into a deep scowl.

i encourage myself not to think about you,
but the dreams sneakily slip past my subconscious,
and i'm completely engulfed in visions of your voice,
or your touch.

it is so hard,
so painstakingly hard,
to get over you,
when every day i look up from my book in literature class,
and see you nonchalantly stroll right in,
while i try to compose the deep thumping in my chest,
you sit down right next to me,
like always,
and smile,
or laugh,
have full conversations,
and share memories,
but never with me.

i wish i could get over you,
but your so intricately wired into my brain,
that you won't be leaving anytime soon.