i [thought i] wouldn’t be able to escape you

you stitched your name on the inside of my eyelids
so every time i slept i dreamt of you and every time i blinked i saw you

every time i see deep brown eyes they swallow up my memories and project them on a screen like a sad old black and white movie at a drive in theater

i studied the syntax of your sentences and i taught myself to talk like you, so everytime i have a conversation you’d still be a part of it

our time together was brief yet long enough to capture the magic
like a shooting star except you were my entire night sky

But now i’m asking that you push me away so far that i can’t find my way back.

burn it all and remind myself that ashes can be just as beautiful as a scribbled date signifying the day we first said how we really felt

don’t worry about me because i can be best friends with myself, and i’ll find ways to fix the bruises that turn green with envy at the next girl who whispers your name

because if this was “love” those dried up flowers hanging from my window would be from you, and not just a way of reminding myself that sometimes we have to look at our lives from a different perspective

in order to be able to say “i’m okay”

[i always have been].