I hate not being able to sleep, a thousand and one thoughts whirling around in my head.
I hate not being able to block it out long enough to drift off.
I hate that the river sounding like white noise is noisy tonight, when normally it sends me off straight away.
I hate that even though I ate some dinner, I'm still hungry.
I hate that even though my boyfriend loves me, I still think I'm ugly.
I hate that this is the middle of the night.
I hate that I do not know what to do for the next year, stay, or go?
I hate that one day, none of what matters now will count any more, that today's emptying of lockers and taking home stuff signifies the end getting closer.
That eventually I will never have to walk down that corridor, down those steps, past the eyes of people watching me, that soon, I won't even need to remember to reserve my lunch.

I hate that I think I'm in love.
I hate that I'm questioning if this is a good thing?