May 2014
You are the only one in control of your happiness.
Quarters and dimes would come flying from my pant pockets if ever anyone used this phrase.
Because I'd pay good money to see someone who cannot become afflicted by purely a noun.
Blissful mid sleep conversations kept our bike locked arms around each-other.
Our smiles interrupting each kiss like a brief intermission telling the audience that the show will go on.
Until time happens to be the only thing that could make me take the long ride home.
What she said was "I never want to leave this bed."
she didn't say the next two day's she'd be sharing it with another person...
I often dream of a place that's serene enough to keep my agony in silence for a full 24 hours.
But I've moved around enough to the point where I know that "home" can no longer be found on a map.
More or less in my heart.
That being the thing conflicting most with my head...
Because if I have to hear one more person say "You'll be fine" or "Everything will work itself out" I think I'm going to find the nearest guillotine and decapitate myself.
I don't want to hear your advice
I don't want to hear what a "professional" has to say,
I just want this to end.
Every paradise found being a mirage of things too good to be true...
Meanwhile I'm running out of water and the only questions people care to ask me are what I'm going to do as a career or where I see myself in five years.
Rather than a real "How are you?"
and to be honest I could ******* care less.
allow me to just live in the now and take it one painstaking hallucination at a time.
Because somehow I turned out to be the pet you had while growing up, rambunctious and packed full of excitement.
However years later, it only enjoys drooping it's head and sleeping all day.
Incapable of speech the only thing it really wishes to tell you is it that it feels like dying.
Life isn't simple enough to make happiness into an on/off switch.
If that was the case it would only ever need to be in one position.
It's that
sadness
has
a
mind
of
it's
own.
Quarters and dimes would come flying from my pant pockets if ever anyone used this phrase.
Because I'd pay good money to see someone who cannot become afflicted by purely a noun.
Blissful mid sleep conversations kept our bike locked arms around each-other.
Our smiles interrupting each kiss like a brief intermission telling the audience that the show will go on.
Until time happens to be the only thing that could make me take the long ride home.
What she said was "I never want to leave this bed."
she didn't say the next two day's she'd be sharing it with another person...
I often dream of a place that's serene enough to keep my agony in silence for a full 24 hours.
But I've moved around enough to the point where I know that "home" can no longer be found on a map.
More or less in my heart.
That being the thing conflicting most with my head...
Because if I have to hear one more person say "You'll be fine" or "Everything will work itself out" I think I'm going to find the nearest guillotine and decapitate myself.
I don't want to hear your advice
I don't want to hear what a "professional" has to say,
I just want this to end.
Every paradise found being a mirage of things too good to be true...
Meanwhile I'm running out of water and the only questions people care to ask me are what I'm going to do as a career or where I see myself in five years.
Rather than a real "How are you?"
and to be honest I could ******* care less.
allow me to just live in the now and take it one painstaking hallucination at a time.
Because somehow I turned out to be the pet you had while growing up, rambunctious and packed full of excitement.
However years later, it only enjoys drooping it's head and sleeping all day.
Incapable of speech the only thing it really wishes to tell you is it that it feels like dying.
Life isn't simple enough to make happiness into an on/off switch.
If that was the case it would only ever need to be in one position.
It's that
sadness
has
a
mind
of
it's
own.
