happy one full year of pain and misunderstandings
and depression en emptiness and even more pain

im not okay
i have tried to be okay
i was more than okay for a while
but its still here and i cant go on anymore
and im crying even though i dont want to
i miss you even though i dont want to
i ******* love you even though i dont ******* want to

why cant life work out for me once please,
i beg you
help me survive,
i told so many people i could do it on my own
but i cant
i ******* cant
im sorry i lied to all of you

i am so so sorry