She Chose Wrong,
Either in the Beginning
Or at the Ending
Or Both


Either i can't fall asleep,
  the broken too deep
    to allow a long enough cease in the screams
      for my mangled mind to ease into dreams.

Or i can't want to awake,
  mop up more soul blood from the break,
    accept the cruel caress of the reality razor,
      inhale a shriek like the shock of a taser.

Molten affection,
  merely missed direction.
She passed on precious
& picked for me pathetic.

the words we shared, spoken & unspoken, were apparently obviously irrelevant, the emotions Hollywood transparent, the Love only alive inside one side, the caressing was not the coursing of ultimate intimacy, just some stroking, just some *******, the Making Love was merely *******, the cuddle snuggle happy happy joy joy two as one was only not being alone, the together forever hopes plans ideas tingly sparkly promises of the future was really just passing some time, the kisses, hot & wet & as perfect as you can get (sometimes soft & searching, sometimes soooo assertive with their urgency) turns out were just the touching of lips, not the tasting & entwining of hearts & souls. i Loved Everything, more than the combining of every everything ever felt before, and the tasting of the time, the singing of the seconds, the linking from eye-soul-gaze locking, the embraces, the feverishly ******* her anytime anywhere there was the opportunity, the hours sleeping beside her, the ecstasy shower of being inside her, were all ultra-exquisite awesomeness, **** you need to understand, kissing her was incredible to my heart, each & every kiss was passionate & intimate & tingled me to my toes, sometimes curling them, and made me feel completely in tune, like our hearts were sharing the same beats...

Asleep or awake,
  it's all break.
Deep in sleep or newly awoken,
  it's always even more broken.
Either is the same shattered stare,
  **** this forever nightmare...---