May 2014
first day back.....
and i am faltering,
creative flint is drenching wet.
no spark of inspiration here.
end up comparing myself,
to the ghosts in my head.
as i stumble through the steps of the well worn dance
feeling out of step....
hearing a totally dirrerent song......
take a breath... while the students prepare short pieces based on emotional key words....
mine at the present FEAR
there is fear in my heart...
that i have lost
the unameable thing
that makes
teaching a joy.....
and in that joy i
become a good.... no great
teacher.....
is it lost or buried??....
i go back and watch....
with growing delight
at the sorrow, joy, anger
and love
that parades before me in different guises.
at the end of the lesson,
a group of students
come and chat,
these are students
who are new to me.
amongst the chatter
these breadcrumbs thrown unknowingly to my frail heart....to my sparrow id
freezing on the winter branch
"we really liked the class,"
"that thing at the end way cool".... and "glad we took this option"...
my little sparrow heart
flew down and gobbled them up...
and the flint began to dry..
i may be okay yet....
and i am faltering,
creative flint is drenching wet.
no spark of inspiration here.
end up comparing myself,
to the ghosts in my head.
as i stumble through the steps of the well worn dance
feeling out of step....
hearing a totally dirrerent song......
take a breath... while the students prepare short pieces based on emotional key words....
mine at the present FEAR
there is fear in my heart...
that i have lost
the unameable thing
that makes
teaching a joy.....
and in that joy i
become a good.... no great
teacher.....
is it lost or buried??....
i go back and watch....
with growing delight
at the sorrow, joy, anger
and love
that parades before me in different guises.
at the end of the lesson,
a group of students
come and chat,
these are students
who are new to me.
amongst the chatter
these breadcrumbs thrown unknowingly to my frail heart....to my sparrow id
freezing on the winter branch
"we really liked the class,"
"that thing at the end way cool".... and "glad we took this option"...
my little sparrow heart
flew down and gobbled them up...
and the flint began to dry..
i may be okay yet....
this is mostly a free flow brainstream thing, ordering thought and emotion
in Jan i broke my leg (badly) at work and had been off or part time (office duties only)until today, when i went back to practical teaching ..... i do about eight to ten prac sessions a week
along with lectures and for the third years small group
tutorials.... it was so hard...self doubt almost had me by the throat... a class of first years i did not know and unfamilar with the way
i build a session...
a particularly hard start.
....but i think.... i will be ok....just need to stick with it...tommorrow a betterday
in Jan i broke my leg (badly) at work and had been off or part time (office duties only)until today, when i went back to practical teaching ..... i do about eight to ten prac sessions a week
along with lectures and for the third years small group
tutorials.... it was so hard...self doubt almost had me by the throat... a class of first years i did not know and unfamilar with the way
i build a session...
a particularly hard start.
....but i think.... i will be ok....just need to stick with it...tommorrow a betterday
