I.**
I have spent far too many nights with my head in my hands,
Shallow breaths in and out,
Shaking and choking on the sharp threat of tears.

There’s a hole in my chest that aches with each breath;
It expands and expands more and more,
Threatens to tear me whole.

Maybe if the stars shined a little brighter I’d find hope in that small light.
Maybe if the moon were closer I’d feel better about being under it.

II.
I feel empty and inadequate.
I feel weak, I feel small.
I feel like I’ve lost myself.

It comes in waves every now and then.
The sudden wash of a ripping tide crashing onto shore -
into the hollows of my bones and crashing
with a force that chills my entire body.

It’s not welcome here but it keeps breaking down the door.

I have tried padlocks and I have tried iron and steel,
but the water creeps in through the cracks without fail,
and it’s not long before I drown.