The dogs did bark and howl, when Calamity did come to town
people locked their shutters and securely bolted their doors
no man was safe when she was around
for she'd grab a man by the neck first and throw them to the ground

She had a preference for the blonde shy guys
those with a muscular tan and sky blue eyes
she was a brute of a woman at seven foot one
and she would hunt for fellars to the day was done

Someone had to make a stand
someone had to keep her lust at bay
someone had to do unthinkable
that meant kissing Calamity Day

By Christos Andreas Kourtis aka NeonSolaris