another day,
another night soaked in
sadness, in thoughts and
worries - uncaring worries
that what I said, that what I did
pushes that much further away
that coveted joy of finding her -
loving and kind, understanding
and whole - a newborn's first
breath - it's measure to stay.

how cruel it seems; these trials -
these heartless, callous, prosaic
trials - this test of the heart's
endurance to pain, the vulture's
prey, and to bear it again
day after day
after day
after day.