I want to implode my liver;
I want to taste the liquor and your name exiting my tongue,
I want you off my mind.
okay?
That's all I want more than anything else in the world
because it's driving me insane
I can't even blink
breathe
or sleep
Without thinking of you.
I'm writing this now thinking of you.
and in a couple of hours I'll be thinking about you again and again
and my bones are aching, my heart is aching
and my whole entire body is screaming for me to let go of you
because ******* it you're hurting me.
I'm ******* breaking, I can actually feel myself ******* breaking
but something in me can't;
something in me is drawn to you as if you're some sort of despicable, conniving magnet
and i want to scream so bad
but my lungs are tired
and my brain is tired, and I can't get away from you
you're even in my dreams
you're in the poems I write, the cigarettes I smoke, the sunset I look up at
you're in the books I read, the jokes I tell, the pedals I pluck off the flowers i ripped off the ground in frustration and confusion.
You have me taking it out on nature, now.
You have me wanting to die for christ sakes
and this wouldn't be such a big deal if the feeling were mutual.
but you like your girls with open legs
and I open my book and turn the page
and my self esteem fades like every good thing, every good person I ignored because of you
I hate you.
I hate love
I hate girls, I hate boys
I'm so negative, you make me so bitter ******* it.
I'm out of smokes, and I could cry at any time cause the lump in my throat is lingering
I could be the girl you could be -----
Years from now, you're gonna regret not wanting me when I wanted you.
And I hope to god it destroys you as much as it destroyed me.